


A Small Thief

by ImaKaraTabiHe



Series: Speedster Family [19]
Category: Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Evil squirrels, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8048230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaKaraTabiHe/pseuds/ImaKaraTabiHe
Summary: Wally goes to the park to enjoy the day and ends up being robbed by... a squirrel?





	A Small Thief

Squirrels are evil. That much Wally knows. It doesn't matter how hyped up on caffeine they look with their bushy tails or how much everyone _insists_ that they're like the animal version of Speedsters – squirrels. Are. Evil. End story.

They're all big eyed and squeaky, pretending to be harmless, but Wally knows better. He's glaring at the one that just took his calorie bar right now. “Come here, you fluffy ball of trouble,” he bites out with a deadly smile. “I just want my calorie bar back.” Wally reaches out, slowly, as the squirrel stares at him, wrapper hanging snuggly from its mouth.

“That's it,” he croons, “don't..move...” Wally's arm lashes out and grabs nothing as the squirrel bounds away with its treasure in paw. “Come back here, you menace!” Wally cries as he runs after the squirrel.

“Sorry!” he calls to one lady as he dodges around her through the park, almost making her spill her coffee. 'Spend some time at the park,' Uncle B had said. 'It's a nice day out. You'll enjoy it,' he'd said. Wally was _not_ enjoying battling a _squirrel_ for his calorie bar.

“Ah-ha!” Wally smiled triumphantly as he cornered the squirrel against a bench. “Now, I've got you.”

The squirrel tilted its head to the side and seemed to grin up at him, big eyes wide. Something smacked Wally on the head, “Ow!” He rubbed his head, frowning. The squirrel just sat there.

“Ow!” Another something hit his head. “What the…?” He looked down to see acorns on the ground. “Just what's going..” He didn't have time to finish it before acorns rained down upon him. “Ow! Ow! Ow!” he cried as he was hit with the nuts.

The squirrel chittered gleefully and Wally's eyes narrowed at him. “This is all your fault,” Wally growled with realization. The squirrel flicked its tail at Wally and then bound away. “Ow – come back here, you – ow! - menace!” Wally leaped after it.

Running into the bushes, Wally ran face first into a spider web. He shrieked. “Oh my god! Get it off!” He quickly wiped his face and rubbed the web on leaves. He heard a chirp and looked up. The squirrel was sneering at him from a branch.

Wally glared up at it. “So that's how you wanna play, is it?” Wally's eyes darted around, searching. Finding no one else around, Wally smiled, all teeth, up at the rodent. “Prepare for revenge, you nutcase.”

He took off, running around the tree until a decent sized tornado spun with the tree in the middle. The squirrel shrieked with fear and let go of its treasure. “Ha!” Wally stopped, catching the calorie bar in his hands. He looked up at the squirrel with a gleam in his eyes. “I win!”

His stomach growled, making him blush with embarrassment. Hastily, he ripped open the calorie bar and bit into it as he stalked back into the main part of the park. “That'll teach a squirrel to steal food from a Speedster.”

  


Fur sticking all which ways and vision spinning, the squirrel fell off the branch and landed in a pile of leaves. It clutched its head with its paws.  _Oh, this is going to be a special kind of hangover._ It swore never to mess with weird ginger-haired kids and silvery wrapped treats that smelled slightly like buildings.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this. I probably wasn't, but yeah... I hope you enjoy it because this is absolutely one of the most ridiculous things I've ever written. Maybe it'll make you laugh? I dunno. Anyways. Have a delightful Friday. And watch out for squirrels.
> 
> (Also, the next installment will be soon - genius!Wally as a request by a lovely tumblr follower.)
> 
> Tumblr: tabihe


End file.
